Tuesday, September 9, 2008

And the Award goes to....

Since we got here we saw that we gain nothing but frustration if we get angry at the cultural differences, bureaucratic processes , etc. and realized that it actually helps to just accept it and respectfully joke about it. I have tried throughout my Blog to both give you a sense of life around here as well as give you something to laugh about regarding our experiences dealing with these cultural differences.
I have decided to include this postings to give an award for the longest, most complicated and bureaucratic process of all. I hope you enjoy it.

The nominees for longest, most complicated and bureaucratic process are:

The Hunt for Red October
Written and directed by our shipment company in association with the boating and container companies.
Special appearance by unhappy Israeli port workers who decided to reduce capacity at the port to 30%.
This tragic comedy tells the story of a shipment that got out of Pittsburgh to the NY port and shipped across the Atlantic to its final destination the Holy land. Experience all the ups and downs of this shipment as it gets sent to Turkey until Israeli port workers and the government get to an agreement. Explore all the plastic silverware and creativity in the Kitchen as the expecting family awaits for the arrival of their shipment. This movie might be having a sequel as the things arrive in the port and need to clear customs and make it to Modiin.

Gremlins
This thriller is full of surprises as the actor opens a bank account and finds himself stock in an endless infestation of bank fees. He can’t put money in, or take money out, he can’t ask for checks or get a credit card, currency exchange, he can’t perform any activity at the cashier or on-line without falling into the hands of the bank fees. Will he learn to live with these scary creatures or will he leave all his money in the US?

The Twilight Zone
Science Fiction. Special appearance by the Russian Cable/Telephone/Internet Guy. This movie will put you to think as the actor gets immersed in the confusing world of Telecommunication services pricing where he does not get what he wants but what they want him to get. Watch him try to contact customer service several times knowing that each time his call reaches the Twilight Zone, especially after the service has been connected and his commitment with them is already in place.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Drama. Tells the story of a family in search of a Medical insurance. The office hours and availability of the 2 different offices needed will keep you on the edge of your seat. Join us as this family figures out that they need to go first to the post office so that they can pay and get the paper signed so that they can go to their Kupat Cholim (medical insurance office). Join them on their adventure as they go to the office several times until it is open only to find that they needed to have an open bank account to set everything up.

Driving Miss Daisy
This movie of epic proportions has one of the largest cast in history including: Optician, photo place, doctor’s office, Mizrad Harishui (License Bureau), Driver instructor, test inspector and it has been announced that in the future it will also include the post office. This movie takes the viewer into the different places, offices and people. Sit for 2 hours a the Mizrad Harishui for a 5 minute signature from them, learn about the brotherhood that exist among the different entities that share profits from the ones requesting a drivers license transfer, watch them pay for a digital photo, for the green form, for the eye doctor, the one mandatory driving lesson, for borrowing the car from the instructor to drive during the test, for the test, and finally for the ultimate goal: for The Israeli Drivers License . Ride along with 2 other people taking the test in the same car and have an adrenaline rush as you see one of them getting into a wrong way street. Share the friendship with the driver instructor and the coldness of the test inspector as he says with no expression in his face: Yemina, Yemina, Smola, Yashar (Right, Right, Left, Straight).

Green Card
Starting the consulate in NY. This simple short film shows the actor’s first exposure to bureaucracy as he tries to obtain his immigrant visa. The entire plot is around the consulate not receiving the documents after more than 2 weeks that was Fedexed. The audience will reach a complete shock when he learns that the visa cannot be sent until a $8.00 money order is sent back to the consulate so that they can Fedex it back. Will they be able to receive their Immigrant Visa before their departure? Well, the audience knows the story, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to immigrate.

The Sound of Music
From the producers of the live on-line arrival ceremony and the chartered flight to Israel this tremendous musical production will definitely not get the Oscar but is worthwhile mentioning. Produced in its entirety by Nefesh b'Nefesh, after a family completes their application and sends copy of many important documents they encounter during their flight to Israel with government agents that process their Tehudat Zehut (equivalent to Social Security number) and other important government documents while they fly. This family only had to pick up all their documents one day at the offices knowing that they have saved themselves lots of time to process one of the most difficult documents.

And the award goes to….. Driving Miss Daisy!!!
By far this has been the most complicated, long and bureaucratic process that we have not finished but just today we were able to do the driving class followed by the test that we both passed. We should be able to get our drivers license in a couple of weeks.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isra, acabamos de leer sus ultimas experiencias en Maale Adumim y los Oscares, te felicitamos, cada vez estan mejor tus narraciones, estas descubriendo un talento escondido (por lo menos de nosotros)KOL HAKAVOD, y gracias por hecernos parte de sus experiencias, asi nos sentimos mas cerca de ustedes.
Los queremos mucho
Ramy y Yudis
Yo tambien le daria el Oscar a Driving Miss DAISY.

AdinaB said...

Your wouldn't be an Oleh Chadash without hundreds of stories about how ridiculous the country is. Do you have a lot of stories from when you moved to the US? And are the stories the same caliber of craziness as these stories are? You and Liora deserve a lot fo credit for persevering through all of this in order to live out your dream. I think that they do it on purpose - if it was easy, everyone would do it! It's almost like a test to see if you can survive.
Shabbat Shalom!
-Adina

Dani said...

It sounds more like the Sum of all Fears...

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